I am not used to doing this kind of things but i just need to write this down. I hate the fact of being such a shy person. Being like that is keeping me away of getting some things i want. I wish i had the courage to speak up, to say everything that is on my mind. Let all those things free. Let people know how much i know, show them i not stupid, i'm smart.
Sometimes i ask myself if i'm doing the right thing, choosing this course. I'm pretty sure that I'm where i belong, but the problem is that I haven't found my people yet. I know this is a university and everyone is on their own, but i just need someone with whom i can rely on. Being able to be who i am, without any kind of shame, insecurity or any negative thing.
I want things to change, and i will make it for real because as i said before, all this stuff is keeping me away from my dream, in a certain way. I like being noticed and admired for all my success. I know i have to improve and learn many things, but i do know i am good enough to get everything i want. It will take hard work, bad times, ups and downs and some people will try to bring me down, but all that will make me get through this because i'm strong enough to know the truth.
I have to focus on my dream, follow it and get it. I need determination. I want to be sure of myself, even if i am mistaken, it's ok, i'm on this earth to learn. I have no problem to admit if i do something wrong. But why is it so difficult for me to trust my feelings? my knowledge? I've been studying this for many years, i know i have all it takes to be good.
I have to change this as soon as possible because i can't go on in this way. I will work hard and try to be honest with myself. I will speak my mind whenever i want, and let people know what i think. But first, i have to learn to trust my mind, my thoughts, my feelings and be sure of myself.
If you're reading this, and you have an opinion about all this. Send me an e.mail: neeext.-@hotmail.com
Whoever is reading this, and can understand me, THANK YOU!
